I miss how you used to grasp my finger instinctively like little newborns do. But now I love the way that you and I hold hands.
I miss serving you spoonfuls of mushy bananas off a tiny silver spoon. But now I love how the conversation rolls with you, my very favorite lunch date.
I miss how you used to clutch to me as I’d spin you around the swirls of the pool. But I watch you kick your ungraceful legs through the too chilly water and it fills my own pool up with pride.
And I miss the wiggle of your rolly thighs as I would attempt pajama time.. but the way you pick your own too small, out of season pajamas now ? Well that steals my heart every time.
I miss the way you used to sing “rain rain go away” as you stared up at me with your giant baby blues….But now you make up your own songs about our family, your brothers and yes, even sometimes poop. I serve you side eye and inwardly giggle as I proudly celebrate your creativity.
I miss your scribbles on page after page carelessly flung free. Yet now I am enamored at how you meticulously brighten every corner of a picture making sure not to miss an inch.
I miss your baby smell, our sacred naps; you needing me.
I love how you collect boxes, fondly tend to your brothers; your independence.
And I love how you still line things up, refuse to throw things away or take off your shoes. I love how you still mimic your daddy, worry like your mommy and how you sleep with us when you are scared.
I love how you’ve changed so very much and yet remained so much the same. And while your baby years were so dear to me, I wouldn’t wish them back you know? For if I did I’d miss even more, the beautiful little boy that you’ve become today.
Happy birthday my darling. You are so very loved.