Augie, I’ve fallen more in love with you over this past year than I knew was humanly possible!
When you were born, I was in the weeds. I had a 4 year old, a 2 year old with special needs, a new job and a whole new life. I didn’t even know who I was anymore, and I knew I couldn’t give you everything you needed from me. It made me sad. I felt like I was failing you.
And then at the ripe age of 3, your world was turned upside down by a global pandemic that no one in the world knew how to handle….not even your mommy. Who knows what kind of damage that will do to you kids? I shudder as I think about it BUT I also thank the Lord everyday that we were able to keep you safe from it. I remember your first time back at Wegmans was last year around this time. You were flabbergasted that the store had all the same food you had at your house and inwardly, I really started to wonder if you would be okay.
But since we’ve been back in action, you have flourished. You, my sweets, were born for the world. First off, you want to know everything about it. You want to know what every word means, why things happen the way they do. I watch your wide eyes take things in, I see you processing, and I know the questions are coming. It’s delightful to see this planet through your eyes. You make everyone laugh with your grown up vocabulary and sometimes cringe ability to tell things exactly how they are. It’s refreshing to see you witness life so unabashedly.
And because you finally have: opportunity, love and admiration; your needs are being met. With that, there comes a calmness about you that you haven’t had ever. Yes, you will still cry on repeat when you want a snack or don’t want to go to school. But your persistence is much more admirable than annoying. I know it will serve you well when you’re the grown up you already think you are.
You have arrived Augie. All those times you sat waiting in the wings to be fawned over. The time you spent confined to the house as the “baby of the family” (a term you despise by the way,) because there was a deadly virus on the loose. All those set backs did were to make you that much more ready to fly. Daddy and I proudly watch you swoop and swirl and we marvel how it all comes to you with such ease. The only worry I have about you is that you’ll leave the nest for the big waiting world, only to never return.
So maybe I let you sleep in my bed a bit longer than I should? Maybe I hold on tightly to every “mommy” that you utter. Maybe it’s you who gets the limelight for a minute. Because you are finally living the life that was meant for you.
I will not tell you to “never stop being you” because I know you never will. Instead I will tell you this: watching you unfold your wings is a privileged gift that you have given to us. I promise to always value your uniqueness with the same thrill that you approach the world. You will set the place on fire someday, in the best way possible. There is no doubt in my mind little one.
Happy 6th birthday August James . I love you beyond!!
Finding The Joy 