Sure, you can wail at the top of your lungs and you can wear me down like I’m getting the Chinese water torture. But you make me laugh like no other. Your curiosity, uncharacteristic vocabulary, and matter of fact-ness is downright hysterical. You have a way with words and a way of questioning and expressing that endears anyone you meet. You’re so engaging. You’re so committed. You’re so enthralled with this particular life of yours. It’s contagious, the way you live life. You want zero help, minimal guidance and in actuality you need very little of either. You my dear, do not need to be raised. You need to be guided, encouraged, soothed and supported. The rest you’ve got all by yourself buddy.
I always try to theorize your boldness. Is it a third born thing? A boy thing? An ADHD thing? And astrological thing? I don’t have the answer for that. I’m realizing it doesn’t matter. Because you do not need to be corrected, fixed or dimmed. Everything about you screams that you will be able to handle yourself through anything. You will take shit from no one (I know, one strike) and you will always be absolutely fine. So then why? Why would I even want to turn down that fierceness a notch? The truth is, if I ever did that it would be for me, not you. Sure, you drive me mad when you cannot accept why you cannot watch an R rated movie but that means you won’t accept anything less than your desires. And yes I wish I could stop you from perseverating on things like “I probably won’t give you money to buy a house when you’re older” but I know you’ll always get your needs met. Every argument you have with your dad and I about: what shirt to wear, what new thing you want from Amazon, why you don’t get the exact same as your brother….all of that fiery power squashed, would also mean you wouldn’t: fight for Judah, make an amazing life for yourself, break generational trauma of people pleasing, know your worth, and live without conditioning.
Well my little firecracker, I would never do that to you. Because I know too well what happens when you are not seen. You lose yourself. You conform and question your very existence; the one thing that is specifically yours. I may not always be able to hold my tongue when you flex your you-ness, but I will always hold your hand as you walk through this life exactly as you were designed to be.
Happy 7th birthday my baby. I love your bigness so damn much (2 strikes.)
Finding The Joy 